Life

Did not have a good rest yesterday...

Apparently certain people were vacuuming in their room at 4am

*grumble grumble*

It's chinese new year again and I'm missing out on all the festive fun yet again. *sniff!!* I am seriously missing the atmosphere, friends and family, even the cheesy chinese new year songs although I must say there are more and more modern ones as the years go by. Oh, not to forget all the worrying about putting on weight due to the incredible amount of food and cookies available and then dismissing it almost immediately and indulging! Haha... all the wonderful food~

Here in the UK, it's quite like cny doesn't exist. There are no 'red' decorations around, no nothing. The only notion and feeling you get it's new year is the occasional 'happy cny' greeting you here from fellow asian friends and of course the get together friends organise. Other than that, it's lectures as usual. What a huge difference.

I must say though, that the greetings from friends, people I haven't really heard from and family plus the new year card and emails received are very very much appreciated. They are the few little things that bring forth the new year spirit. Plus of course, my dad's idea of listening to new year songs on youtube. Haha... =P

Went out with friends to 'Big Wok' in Birmingham for dinner last Friday. It was nice to hang out with them, it was the second outing we had as coursemates. The food was good, they even had crispy duck roll though the songs they played were not quite cny. It's quite weird to be celebrating cny to the tunes of 'don't cha' by pussycat dolls, if you know what I mean. -.-''

Sis came to visit on Saturday and we had some delicious Malaysian food and bumped into a cousin at the restaurant. Haha.. what a coincidence. Hmm... it was really really nice to have sis around. Went shopping after that and got some bargains at the market too. I felt happy! =) It felt quite wrong when I send sis off at the train station on Sunday. It was new year's eve and family members were suppose to get together and there I was saying bye byee... I felt a lot sad. Oh well, what can one do when school's on as usual on Monday. =(

Waited at the bus stop for quite some time that Sunday. I guess the buses were running late. Felt really tired when I got home but was so happy to talk to mum on skype and seeing everyone wishing me happy cny. =) We talked and talked and shared news which was really really nice. For a moment, I pretend I was just at home and my mum was sitting nearby talking to me. That felt nice. =)

Then, I got a surprised at about 9.30pm. My dad skyped and talked to me! It was approx 5am Malaysian time. I was so surprised and the first few things I said was 'why are you up so early in the morning?' instead of 'happy cny'. Haha... It's just so like me to check the time in M'sia when he called. I think dad's real sweet to wake up early purposely to talk to me and sis. I wonder if he did manage to catch sis online. Felt so so SO HAPPY! He said he'd promised to call either M'sian time cny eve or cny morning and so there he was. I thought with mum talking to me that was it. Haha... I'm so happy! Sometimes I think my mum and dad spoil me lots. =P

Despite the distance, I must say, I had a rather good chinese new year. I am a happy girl. =)

p.s. currently listening to Mgirls- The peach blossom opened (literal translation. =P)

On Monday, I went to seek a lecturer's help but got scared or rather I should say I was petrified and upset after that. Trying to recover from the whole incident which actually took away all my self-confidence and left me in a daze for the entire day. Couldn't study, couldn't function properly which was really bad.

Talked to a few people and especially my family. I feel so loved and care for by them that sometimes it touches me and ironically makes me cry, but just a little and in a happy way. =)

I feel extremely blessed to have a family like that. =)

On another note, happy chinese new year to all my friends and family.

p.s. SUPER MEGA PROUD of my sis for getting straight A's! ^^

I skipped my lecture today and studied the material at home instead. I think it's more productive this way cause I fall asleep in this particular module lecture. Plus, she basically reads from the notes anyway. >.< BUT, I will attend the Wednesday's lecture.

Hmm... cny just round the corner. I miss my family.

I need to stop being afraid of hurting other people's feelings and just say what I want and what I think instead of compromising on myself and what I want all the time.

ARGH...

Why am I always like this?!

p.s. Sometimes when I (e.g.) roll my eyes and the person happen to glance over, I don't know if it was noticed, but... I only did it cause I am super annoyed and irritated for a valid reason; I still get worried I might hurt the person's feelings. Haiz.. why do I care so much!

Finally done with test and exam. The exam was a nightmare but oh well, nothing I can do now. I felt as though I basically couldn't think during the paper. Things that I knew had me thinking for three times? Made careless errors as well. Lots and lots of marks flew away. There were like 9 questions and the two I didn't manage to do cost 40% of the paper. -.- I guess I got too stressed out and worried. I just really really dislike how things other people say manage to affect me so much. So disappointing. =( Anyhow, hopefully by some miracle it'll turn out okay.

It's the end of first week yet things started to pile in already. I'm starting to feel the stress and workload. Geez... 2 assignments given out in week 5 (due in week 10), a test in week 10, and four tests spreaded out this term for another module. Not to forget another assignment to work on over the holidays. -.-

Okay, enough talk about studies. That's making me stress out right now. Hmm.. weirdly blogger ate away this part of my post. So weird... Anyway, I was saying that I went swimming on friday. There's an allocated time slot 3-4pm for female swimmers only. However I had a lecture then and headed to the pool at 4pm. It was really awkward as there were more than 10 guys there and I was the only girl at a certain point. Even the lifeguard on duty was a guy... I felt rather out of place. I swam up and down the pool about 10 times and then headed home. I guess the guys were all waiting for 4pm to have their turn at the pool.

Saturday was a fun fun day. =) I went to London with two friends. We journeyed to the busstop at 6.30am and arrived in London at approx 9.20am. It was freezing cold!!! I didn't expect London to be so cold. We headed to Apollo Victoria theatre to queue for matinee tickets (Wicked, the musical). The box office wasn't opened and we had to wait till 10am.

I think we became popsicles during that seemingly endless wait. While we were freezing out there, it started snowing too. Great, huh? >.< Luckily we managed to get our tickets for a pretty good price, 25 pounds. The show was great and I really enjoyed the company. =)

Had loads of dim sum for breakfast and a huge tower of strawberry ice-cream after that. I am amazed at how much I put away sometimes. I think more exercise is in order. Haha... I am afraid of the weighing scales at this point.

Oh, we had korean food for dinner and eclairs for dessert after that before catching our bus back to Uni. It was a long day but really exciting and fun. Reached home at around 12am. Got to meet two people today and running around the city was good. Most of all, it was especially nice to see my sister and hang out with her for half a day. I felt happy and not so miserable anymore. =)

Okie, about time to go put my clothes into the dryer. tata for now ~

Managed to do SOME studying today but not a lot. There are 7 chapters and I'm still at chapter 1. I am reassuring myself that it is okay since I did badly during the first test, i.e. chap 1 and 2. SO, I should be able to go faster for the last few chapters. =)

Anyway, feeling really happy and at peace at the moment which is good. =) I feel as though with the passing of every single day, I learn something more, I am able to see clearer and also feel all that I have, especially the love from family and friends.

I feel blessed. =)

Haven't been writing and being ever so conscious about the eyes that actually read the nonsense and stuff that I randomly write makes it tough. Hence, noticeably the lack of posts. Anyhow, with the new year comes a brilliant idea and hopefully I will be able to write more! =)

Anyway, been travelling a lot this holiday. Prague, Canada and London. Things were just fabulous! Besides, summer break, ever since the beginning of university life, this is probably the longest holiday I've taken without any studying being done. Haha... I feel happy yet stressed out and worried at the same time. There's a little sense of doom but I hope that's just me being overly paranoid. ARGH! 5 days left to study for a major 55% exam. Hmm... 11% a day. I think that's manageable IF and only IF I manage to stop slacking off. GAH! I need to strap myself down!! See see? Proof: blogging at this insanely hour when I'm lacking the time to study and not sleeping!! -.-''

There's lots and lots I wanna write but sadly I think I shall listen to that little voice telling me I should go to sleep since erm... 4 hours ago? YIKES!

oyasuminasai ~ =)

Yay!! Holidays are coming!! ^^

Going places and having tons of fun.. Hehehe.. schedule quite filled up already. =P

Now, to finish two more tests and off I go! Wheeeeeeeee ~

It's nearing the end of term... another test down! (out of 6 this term, haha..)

Now, only two more to go. Today's was horrible; had to get all the appropriate ratios and figure out how and what to write! ISHK! 10 questions in an hour. >.< My hand hurt from writing so much. About a page a question. I think I need to learn how to write faster without words being illegible.

On another note, lots of random people talked to me today. It feels a little weird but nice at the same time. Oh! and for once, the person at the counter didn't check my ID! =P

Now, to have a little treat and then back to studying... This is going to be fun. =)

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I want to be there but I can't;

It hurts and I wish I could do something....

Thankfully things will be okay again :)

Things have changed;

No reason, no event, no occurences, just in a moment, in that frame of time, it feels as though for the first time, I am able to see. Oddly, it doesn't feel scary and yet somehow it feels familiar, it feels happy. In a sense, it is liberating.

In certain ways, it feels as though I'm starting to find myself again. It sounds really weird and it feels odd to say that. But that's just how it is. I feel different yet I remain the same.

I am starting to realise what you have given me and how you've always loved me. :)

For everything you don't have, there is something you have;

they seem to come in pairs.

I think I know what I want now... =)

p.s. it doesn't really matter if something felt wrong, I am not worried anymore.

something felt wrong.....

now i am worried something is wrong =(

It's snowing in October!

SO COLD!!! yet so pretty... =)

It's so so SO COLD!!!

I just want to snuggle in bed all day long and listen to the pitter patter of rain outside whilst I'm dry, warm and cozy...

hibernating...

I can't believe and even begin to understand the way certain people behave or act. It utterly amazes me (not in a good way, mind you) and I suppose it also shows me how lucky and fortunate I have been all this while.

It still beats me how some people do what they do and actually are able to live with themselves!

geez... I am so totally annoyed and upset at certain people right now.

Wish I could be there for you...

A raindrop in the ocean

Thanks to all my lovely friends and my loving family who made my 21st birthday extra special!!

I am really touched by all the birthday wishes and the effort you all put in. I feel so lucky! ^_^

Thanks to my dearest sister who sent me an adorable looking card! My family members, aunts and uncles, cousins for the lovely birthday wishes.

AND...

All my lovely friends who remembered!
Ai Ling, Ai Vee, Ai Yin, Allan Sia, Ann Ye, Charles, Chea Ming, Edwin, Erin Hoo, Hazirah, Hong Ping, Hui Wenn, Ian, Jo-anne Tay, Joel Tay, Jo Leen, Jonathan, Joyce Fong, Karen Choi, Keljin, Khai Ven, Khay Khoon, Kris, Lawrence, LiKai, Li Lian, Lisa, Pei Lynn, Rahayu, Ren Yin, Robert, Sarah Pang, Shaun, Sheah Lin, Shiau Aun, SIM, Stuart, Sue Lin, Thanita, Tony, Wei Yun and whoever I forgot to mention cause I kind of lost count after a while. >.< *my apologies!*

And to those who celebrated with me!
Chin Keat, Sao Lee, Edmund, Yi-Mei, Hui Zhen, Sam, Zi Dong and Yun Ching! ^_^

This is a super frustrating and upsetting and well TIRING weekend...

I had a group assignment due on Monday at 12noon and it wasn't as though we haven't been working on it.

ARGH!

Friday:
Schooling hours 9am - 6pm (with two hours break for lunch only).
Then, I returned to school to meet my group to do our project at 9pm. Basically, rushed home, bathe had dinner and it's off to school. :(

We worked on the project from 9pm till 4am before retiring home. SO SO tired and I thought that was bad. 9am - 4am. :(

Saturday:
Had to wake up to meet people at 12.30pm for our project. Everyone was so tired and exhausted. Still we all managed to get there and get things done. Later that evening, we worked on the project again.

Sunday:
This was the worst day eVER! We met at school at 3pm, wanting to finish the project at around 5pm or 6pm because we all had things we wanted to do such as prepare for the tests that were looming BUT...

Work carried on till 12.30am before we were finished!! SO delighted that "the end" was in sight!

THEN it all happened....

Just when we wanted to save the file into the thumbdrive, the server crashed! Our work was gone. :(

It was terribly terribly upsetting and we had to redo our project! *sigh* Just when you thought you could go home and rest after a very long day.

I was super upset. All my work gone. We tried to recover the files but no luck. All the servers in the computer lab just went down at that instant. How unlucky is that?! :(

In the end, we knew asking for an extension wouldn't help as we had yet another assignment deadline ahead and will have to do it over sooner or later. Hence, we started to do our assignment again.

Guess what, this sunday, my supposed to be rest day, I went to school at 3pm and left at 6.30AM! *sigh*

This is truly a crazy experience and I'm so very tired now. Back to sleep and rest for me. ZZzzzz...

My long awaited update!

To my dearest friends who have been checking my blog, my sincere apologies.

Well, here they are finally, enjoy! :)

OH! And Happy Chinese New Year!!